Write Down Your Emotions
If you’ve never journaled before, the place to start is writing down every emotion you notice within yourself. Most of us have emotions that we’ve tucked away, too afraid to look at them. It might be because we feel guilty about harboring these emotions. We might believe we don’t have the right to give voice to our opinions. We might be afraid that it goes against the persona that we’ve built up. You might be afraid of other people’s judgements if they find out what you’re really thinking. Whatever the reasons may be, it’s time to take a better look at the emotions circulating through your body because your inner dialogue plays a key role in both your physical and mental health.
You have every right to feel every emotion that you feel. Give yourself the permission to acknowledge all of them.
What Am I Angry About?
I used to believe I wasn’t angry. People always told me “I can’t imagine you getting angry,” and I played that role well. But I WAS angry. I was just in denial. My skin erupted for me instead, and the wounds were constantly weeping. Looking back, this person that “never got angry” was mean as hell. I needed to look down on others in order to feel better about myself. Everyone and everything had to be controlled. I resented every little infraction against my personal sense of right and wrong. Innocent words ruined my whole day, and I passed on that bad mood to others.
Journaling saved me. I wrote down every anger, every resentment, every irritation that came to mind. When I finally gave myself permission to acknowledge my anger, I couldn’t believe how much poured out!!
If you just don’t know where to start, ask yourself these questions: What am I angry about? Who am I angry at? Why am I so angry? Since when have I been angry about this? As you answer these questions, there may be a part of you that wants to stomp hard on the brakes. Don’t judge this part of you, but you’re going to have to pass them by with a polite nod. 🙂 This is where healing begins.
What Is Really Driving My Anger?
Why is it so important to become aware of your anger? Because behind every anger is a wound that hasn’t been healed. A sadness that you’re not being valued the way you should be. A fear that your life is going to unravel at any moment. An absolute terror that, maybe, you’re not as great a person as you thought you are. As you delve further, you’ll soon realize you’re usually not truly mad about the situation you are ranting about. There’s something else you’re trying not to see, and anger is just a distraction.
When tears well up, let them flow. Crying, especially for men, has been made taboo, but it’s a natural part of human life. Crying is cathartic. It is healthy, and it’s the key to letting go of your anger.
What Am I Grateful For?
By this time, you are probably exhausted from the torrent of emotions that surfaced. I will write about how to grow past these painful emotions, but that requires a whole another post, probably more. For now, let’s just list some things that you’re grateful for. Happiness and gratitude are parts of your full range of emotions also, and they deserve to be acknowledged. And as a bonus, it helps you turn your mood around in a short time!
If you were just thinking about your painful past, you might find it’s difficult to switch gears and list things that you’re grateful for. But there always are multitude of people to appreciate. If you are alive today, I guarantee that you have not grown or cooked every single food you’ve ever eaten. You didn’t make all the clothes you’ve ever worn. You didn’t build the houses you’ve ever lived in. Even a single drop of water from the faucet couldn’t make it’s way unless multiple people showed up to do their work.
If you still can’t bring yourself to make a list, that’s OK. Just give yourself credit for recognizing the emotions within you. It’s still a small victory in a society that taught you to bury your head in the sand. You took the crucial first step. You can’t treat a wound unless you are aware of it.
