A Month of Mays: May We Recognize the Lies We Tell Ourselves
Nobody likes being lied to. When we find out that someone has been telling us lies, our egos take a hit. We feel stupid for believing the lies. Or we feel offended that this person couldn’t trust us with the truth. It’s not a good feeling, to say the least.
But we’re also extremely cautious creatures. Have you ever suspected someone of lying even though they insisted it was the truth? Or didn’t answer the phone because it was from a strange number? Probably yes, right? Some of us may do this even multiple times a day. We want people to see us as honest and trustworthy, yet we’re often highly suspicious of others and don’t trust them. We’re blind to the unfairness of our desires.
Let’s Be Honest
There’s a good reason why pretty much everyone does this. We’re the biggest liars we’ve ever known. The person who lies to you the most is you! But we don’t want to see it. We don’t want to admit it. It’ll dismantle the illusion of safety our egos have created over our lifetime. Deep down, we know we’re liars. That’s why we are so suspicious. We know lying comes easily to all of us. But admitting that to yourself? Well, that’s a different story.
So what’s the biggest lie we tell ourselves? That our happiness will come from somewhere outside of the self. We keep hoping that someone or something out there will magically give us everything we need to be happy. We don’t want to be the one that brings change because we don’t know if it will have a positive outcome. All the “I can’t”, “I shouldn’t”, and “I don’t know” statements that run through our heads are lies to keep us exactly where we are.
Don’t Let Your Lies Fool You
There’s one thing I’ve had to learn the hard way: What we want from others is actually what we want from ourselves. If I get angry that someone isn’t trusting me, then what I really want is for me to trust myself. If I’m frustrated by a politician telling a blatant lie, that’s a nudge from myself to recognize the blatant lies I tell myself. We lie to ourselves to keep the status quo, but those lies are also our biggest clues as to what your true desires are. And it’s up to us to take responsibility for our own happiness.
I know it’s difficult to spot the lies you tell yourself. You have to consciously train your brain to re-evaluate what you consider to be “common sense”, and that’s not easy. But we owe it to ourselves so that we can feel more comfortable in our own skin.