A Month of Mays: May We Accept Our Hypocrisy
Have you ever gotten into an argument with someone and thought to yourself, “I could throw those words right back in your face!”? Or maybe, when you were a child, did an adult scold you for something that they were just as guilty of doing? And now, be honest. Has anyone ever pointed a finger at you and said “Well, you do it too!”? There’s a good reason why many of us answered “yes” to these questions. We get triggered by people who mirror back the qualities within us that we don’t like. When we get angry at others, we are unconsciously angry at ourselves. It sounds like a paradox, but we all hate hypocrisy even though we are all hypocrites.
As I continue on with A Month of Mays, you’ll notice just how much of a paradox we are as individuals. When we look at common personality traits, none of us fit perfectly into one attribute or another. We belong somewhere on a spectrum, depending on the person and the situation you are in. You are much more likely to be controlling with your own kids than your boss, for example.
So when it comes to hypocrisy, you can make an effort to be as fair as possible, but you’re not likely to completely suppress a hypocrite within you. Unfortunately, thanks to our innate survival instinct, our brains seek faults in others as a way to identify any potential threat. It doesn’t care if you are using a double standard. Though it makes us prone to hypocrisy, you are a perfectly normal human being if that’s how your brain functions. Forgive yourself for being a hypocrite. We all are.
Getting a Handle on Your Hypocrisy
Accept that you will act like a hypocrite sometimes. I roll my own eyes at myself every time I get frustrated with my kids. I still get indignant at times when I notice hypocrisy in others. But at this point, it’s starting to become somewhat comical. I can shrug my shoulders and say “Oops, there I go again!” Knowing this about myself and others also helps me let go of resentments. After an argument, I can often look back at it calmly and analyze the real trigger, which usually had nothing to do with the situation at hand.
I’m a hypocrite, but I am also open-minded and honest. We all are. That’s what makes us interesting human beings, and it’s also what makes us lovable. Next time you find yourself struggling to find common ground with someone, that’s an unusual angle that you can try approaching from.