May We Include Positive Self-talk in Self-Care
Once we get used to using reiki, it begins to inform many different aspects of our daily lives. It changes the way we view and treat others. It changes the way we view and treat inanimate objects. But most importantly, it changes the way we view and treat ourselves. Self-care becomes a way of life.
What Feels Like Self-Care to You?
When you hear the words “self-care”, what comes to your mind? It’s probably different for everyone because we have different ideas about what makes us feel cared for. For some, it might be cuddling up with a good book, while for other’s it’s cuddle time with a loved one. Taking a nice long bath might sound good for one while indulging yourself with a delicious snack might sound even better for another. A good nap might revive one person, but another might prefer to go for a run to clear the head. You know what fulfills your heart. If it leaves you feeling happy and satisfied in the end, go for it!
One thing that’s unfortunate about most posts and articles about self-care, though, is that they often just list ways to address your physical need. I feel it’s not really self-care until you learn to take care of your whole self, including your emotional self. You have to make sure your inner dialogue is helping you feel better, too!
Pay Attention to What Your Mind is Saying to You
For example, let’s say you decide to eat an indulgent snack. If your mind is saying, “Oh my god, this tastes so good, but it’s probably going to make me fat! I better stop after one more bite.” Is that really self-care? If you choose to take a nap but feel guilty about it because you’re worried about a whole list of other things you should be working on, that’s also not self-care.
Talking positively to yourself is a skill that most of us never learned in school, but thankfully, I’m beginning to see traces of it in my kids’ schools. Hopefully, it will eventually become the norm. In the meantime, if you tend to be your worst critic, (and yes, most of us are!) I hope you’ll try to learn this skill for your own sake, too.
How Can You Change Your Inner Dialogue?
Whenever you notice negative inner dialogue, try looking at it from another angle. Be as out of the box and creative as you can. Remember that your normal may not be so normal in another country. Things that you put yourself down for may be something that others may admire. If you’re drawing a blank, you can always fall back on “Well, at least I learned something.”
If we get back to the example of the indulgent snack, you can focus on the people who made it possible for you to have that snack instead. Be grateful for the efforts they put into making that snack. You can also give yourself credit for consuming that snack because you just helped those workers get paid and support their own families.
The point is to not be a negativity police! Don’t get mad at yourself for having a negative thought. It’ll take some time and practice before your brain adjusts to the new way of thinking. Be kind to yourself. We’re all extraordinary in one way or another. Give yourself the proper credit!