A Month of Mays: May We Befriend Our Egocentrism
After years of self-analysis, I’ve come to the conclusion that a feeling of strong repulsion within me is a giant red flag. I know that someone or something is reflecting back to me a trait that I do not like about myself. And the explosive rage isn’t really aimed at the person who triggered it, but is aimed at myself. So, when I look at the society at large, I have a sense that a universally disliked quality is also a quality that most people actually are guilty of. I’ll be taking a look at these traits during A Month of Mays. Today, let’s look at one of the most hated quality, egocentrism.
Before I go on, if you have not read my first post on A Month of Mays, please click the link and read that first. I have a warning on there that I think is important.
Understanding and Accepting Your Egocentrism
Now, to egocentrism. Do you think it’s bad to have an ego? For a great majority living in the world today, I believe, the answer is probably “yes” because we have been taught so for generations. But I really think it’s time for us to redefine what an ego is.
To me, our egos = our survival instincts. Its main job is to keep us safe at all costs, and it’s the reason why human beings have survived so long on this planet. We all have one. There is no choice to have or not have an ego. The only choice you have is to become aware of your ego and learn to live with it, or be in denial and relinquish control whenever your ego is triggered.
Living With Your Ego
So how do you live with your ego? As unpalatable as it seems, by befriending it. By being grateful that you’ve always got someone watching out for you. Thank it for being your #1 fan. Your ego has been your best advocate since the day you were born. It has always wanted to be your best friend. It’s just waiting for you notice its devotion.
Be its friend. But understand it’s not the same as giving it free reign over you. Because like any friend that you might have, our egos have their own weaknesses. Egos tend to be anxious and impatient. They want everything done right now to guarantee your survival. It also forgets that everyone else has their #1 fan with them too. So our egos might get offended when others don’t adore you as much as it does. You can love your ego for its strengths, and step in to take control when it forgets to balance your needs against the needs of others. Value its opinions but decide for yourself if it’s beneficial for you in the long run.
Growing up, most of us never had someone show us how to build a relationship with our own egos. In fact, most of us were taught to push it away as far as possible. Because of this, it might feel really awkward, even repulsive to accept the existence of our egos at first. That’s OK. Just know that it will be life-changing if you keep going. You’ll learn to be kinder to yourself. You’ll learn to see others from a different perspective. You stop portraying yourself as the victim all the time. And that significantly reduces the amount of conflicts around you. Doesn’t it sound like it’s something worth trying?
P.S. Here is my instagram post on egocentrism that I wrote during last year’s A Month of Mays: